


He should’ve saved them

by A_nice_lady_gave_me_a_churro



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Flash Thompson is a jerk, Gen, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker has a guilt complex, Suicidal Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:09:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21960394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_nice_lady_gave_me_a_churro/pseuds/A_nice_lady_gave_me_a_churro
Summary: The images replayed through his mind like a movie you’ve seen a hundred times. He could hear the bystanders screams. The little girl- god the little girl her face as she fell, eyes wide with fear, silently begging Spider-Man to save her. And he didn’t.
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & May Parker
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	He should’ve saved them

“He’s a monster! A tyrant! Spider-Man never helped any of us.”

Peter knew he should turn off the tv, but he knew what Jameson was saying was the truth.Spider-Man couldn’t help anyone. 

6 people. 6 people went off a bridge in a bus before Peter could stop it. He should’ve stopped it. 6 peoples lives and deaths were on him. The blood was on his hands. 

The teens phone rang next to him. Peter only glanced long enough to check the I.D. It was Happy. Happy never called him or even answered when Peter called. Peter knew it wasprobably important but he couldn’t bring himself to answer the phone. He couldn’t face anyone yelling at him. Not now. 

His phone became silent as Peter pulled at his hair, thoughts screaming inside his head. He did that. Those people are dead because of him. 

The images replayed through his mind like a movie you’ve seen a hundred times. He could hear the bystanders screams. The little girl- _god the little girl_ her face as she fell, eyes wide with fear, silently begging Spider-Man to save her. And he didn’t. Because Spider-Man never saves anyone. He couldn’t save his parents. Couldn’t save Ben or even himself. Peter was a pretty crappy hero. 

Another ring brought peter out of his thoughts. It was directly from Tony this time. Peter continued to ignore it, not wasting the little energy he had. He couldn’t eat. He didn’t deserve to eat. He didn’t deserve anything. He didn’t deserve to live.

Peter quickly stood up and grabbed his old suit, not wanting Mr.Stark to track him and began to swing through the city. 

The cool night air enveloped peter as he moved through out queens. Peter focused on the city below him, listening for where he was needed. 

He intercepted two muggings and a bank robbery, lacking in his usual wit and charm. Eventually, Peter was tired, and he just swung. Building to building, focusing on the  _ fwip  _ of the webs. 

Peter tried to focus on other things. Anything other than the bus at the bottom of the river. His reaction time was slowing, the distance between him and the pavement decreasing each time. Finally, he climbed on a building and laid down, unwilling to go home just yet. 

* * *

When Peter finally returned home,awoken by the sounds below him, it was time to leave for school. He changed quickly and made his way through the crowded streets to the subway, a blank expression on his face.

Peter arrived at school and went through the motions, say hello, grab books, head to class. He repeated the process all day, not even feeling it when Flash shoved his head against a locker, a small cut forming about his eye.

Peter waved goodbye to Ned and took the short journey home, trusting his subconscious to get him where he needed to be. 

Peter entered his apartment and called out, “May? You home? “

The only reply in the apartment was silence, which was drowned out by the screaming in peters head. The thoughts wouldn’t leave. But they had to. Peter grabbed the enhanced suit and swung outside.

* * *

“Boss, there is something you need to see. It’s from Karen.”

Tony looked up from the emails he was reading and replied to the A.I., “ Karen? Pete used the suit? Is he ok? Should I call him?”

“No sir peter,” FRIDAY paused, seeming relunctant to respond,” he seems to be showing no signs of life, his heartbeat is untraceable.”

The billionaire froze. Not his kid. Not this kid. Not the bubbly kid from queens.

FRIDAY spoke through his thoughts, “ I suggest you turn on the tv Mr.Stark.” 

“Sure Umm call Rhodey and get me the kid’s location. Now. Have Karen run another diagnostic and get me audio. Also get Helen cho to the med bay.” 

“Yes sir”

Tony felt his suit assemble around him as he watched the screen in front of him. It confirmed his worst fears. 

“Spider-Man has been found dead today, right in the middle of queens.” The reporter sounded detached. It wasn’t personal for her, but for Tony the words hit him like train. He couldn’t pull his eyes from the scene broadcasting before him. 

Peter was lying there, atop a smashed car. A line of blood trickled from his mouth , his hair covered in the same sick liquid. Tony couldn’t see Peter’s doe eyes through the smoke, though they may have been closed anyways. His body was spread out gracefully over the car, like a movie. 

But this wasn’t a movie. This was real life and Tony’s mentee was lying dead in the streets. 

His heart pounding in his ears, Tony turned the blasters up to full power as he neared the single spot he wished he could somehow avoid. There was a crowd surrounding the scene as police tried to keep everyone at bay. Iron man touched down and the police seemed to be somewhat relieved.

“We didn’t know what to do. Someone called it in and word spread. He looks so young.” The cop continued on but Tony saw nothing but the boy before him, once full of life and rambling, now limp and void.

There was a scream nearby and the crowd turned. 

“My baby! No! My sweet peter!” A women was throwing herself at the police, begging to be let through. 

Tony walked towards them, “ May?”

The boy’s aunt’s red eyes looked up and saw Tony standing there, defeated.

“Please let me through,” she whispered voice hoarse.

Tony nodded and the line of police broke and may staggered through to her nephew. Her sweet, innocent nephew. 

May sobbed and clung to peter. Screaming out questions, hoping for an answer. None came. 

Tony slowly pulled May off peter so people could take him away, and may buried her face in his suit. Neither knew what happened. Neither knew why their ball of light was dead. All they knew was that he was. And that more than they could bare.

* * *

Tony braces himself, not ready to learn the reasons. He had done everything to avoid this point. They knew the cause of death, the security cameras nearby made it painfully clear. As did the teens actions just days prior. His beautiful kid. His bright, brilliant kid had ended his own life. Had been so tortured and alone that he thought that was the way out.

Tony took a deep breath and grabbed Mays hand, trying to keep grounded. He wasn’t sure if he could do this but he had to try. He had to try for peter.

“Ok. Fri? Have Karen play the last hour of audio on peters suit.”

“Right away.”

Sound began to play through the speakers, nothing but sounds of the city at first. A good five minutes had passed and Tony began to question if the kid even gave reasons. Maybe he had just- 

A voice interrupted his thoughts. Peters voice.

“Hey mr.stark. Umm idk if you’ll listen to this or even have a need to. I’m not sure what I’m doing yet. No. I am sure. I deserve this. Those people-  that girl, they died because of me. They shouldn’t be at the bottom of the river and me still breathing, “ May let out a sob at Peters guilt. If he had just said something. If she had noticed. If he had known how much everyone loved him. If if if.

The feed continued playing. Tony would remember that for the rest of his life. Peter telling Tony that he was loved, he was amazing, he was the best father figure he had, and he had three. Peter telling Tony, that it's not his fault, there was nothing he could do. Him also saying how lucky he was to know Tony and he was proud to know him because he was the best man peter had ever known. Peter telling Tony not to lose it, stay strong, keep your friends close don't push them away, keep inventing but also eat and sleep. Still come over to dinner with Aunt may, you'll both want company. Peter telling Tony to tell aunt may he loves her, she was a great person and mother. Tell ned and mj that they were greatfriends. Then the end came. 

Peter sniffed before he spoke, ”I love all of you and please don’t blame yourselves, this was my decision, and the pain got too much, the voices got too loud and I know they’re right. And I know there wasn’t any help for me. I’m a super hero, I’m not supposed to have problems. I guess there’s no superhero therapist.” Peter let out a small, sad laugh. The teen began to swing around New York, humming his and Tony's favorite song to work to. Then... 


End file.
